My resume is slightly out of date.
The only thing to smile about from the finale- Mads covered in blood wearing NIKES
FUCK YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
DID THOR JUST GO SWIMMING
IS THOR TRYING OUT A FUN NEW HAIR MASK FROM LUSH
THE FUCKBUTT IS THIS INSISTENCE ON GIVING THOR THE HAIR OF A MAN NOT ALLOWED WITHIN 500 FEET OF SCHOOLS AND CHUCK E. CHEESE’S MARVEL??????????
LIKE EVEN AS A CHARACTER CHOICE: FINE, THEY PROBABLY DON’T HAVE CLARIFYING SHAMPOO ON ASSGARD (typo but it stays) OBVS STEVE CAN’T HELP HE WASHES HIS HAIR WITH THE PATRIOTIC REMNANTS OF A BAR OF ARMY ISSUE SOAP FROM 1945 AND A HANDFUL OF HONEST BROOKLYN DIRT BUT LBR TONY FUCKIN STARK HAS A SHOWER FULL OF BIOSILK ARGAN OIL SPERM WHALE ESSENCES FROM L’OREAL MARS OR WHAT THE SHIT EVER AND WOULD FOR SURE BE LIKE THOR UR HAIR LOOKS LIKE A SQUIRREL FARM TRAGEDY AND SMELLS WORSE SO LIKE
WHO IS DOING THIS
WHO HATES THUNDERBAE :(
#she terrifies men because she forces them into their true shapes #she is the sea there is no room for pretense in her #she will not allow anyone to render her less than what she is #she will not allow others to be anything than what they are #barbossa is a corpse and davy jones is nothing more than shell and bone and ruin dredged up from the ocean floor #’calypso’ is greek for ‘to conceal to hide’ and that is her root#she is the truth waiting to devour you from beneath
I’ve been waiting to see Calypso on my dash.